HerStory: Home in Her Self
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Home in Her Self
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Since I was a child, the messaging I received around femininity has always felt in conflict with my own experience and expression of femininity. Femininity was always presented to me as ruffles and lace, bows with curls, charming giggles, politeness, restriction, submission, joyful, but femininity in me has never been that. Loud and expressive, rebellious and assertive, wild, boisterous, competitive, athletic, strong, rage-filled; I have always felt most at home in the mess, in the space of undone.
My “Home in Her Self” painting is the physical representation of the rewriting of the narratives I inherited around femininity and serves as a reclamation of my feminine identity the way that I experience it - brave, raw, and commanding.
You can view “Home in Her Self” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Finding the Heart of a Long-held Narrative
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Finding the Heart of a Long-held narrative
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The physical nature of my work serves as a form of self-administered EMDR therapy, scribbling stories on a surface then connecting the physical sensations of the grip of a paint brush, the cool and slippery texture of paint on my fingers, the lyrical and gestural motions of applying paint to surface while following threads of thought as they weave and tangle in knots in my mind. Throughout the process of painting, though, the knots begin to loosen and I find the heart of the narratives that have driven me, consciously or otherwise, and like Hansel and Gretel following the trail of crumbs, I make my way back out of the woods to be greeted by the abstract forms, lines, and marks that map the journey to my healing.
You can view the “Finding the Heart of a Long-held Narrative” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Wounds of the Mother (and Her Mother, and Hers)
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Wounds of the Mother (and Her Mother and Hers)
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
I am a survivor, daughter of a survivor, and a woman raised under the umbrella of patriarchy and misogyny now raising a daughter of my own.
“Wounds of the Mother (and her mother, and hers)” speaks to the toxic narratives and cycles of trauma around womanhood and femininity I have inherited from society and my own family and the conscious choice to do the work that ensures those cycles end with me.
You can view “Wounds of the Mother (and Her Mother and Hers)” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Ending the Cycle of Generational Trauma 1 & 2
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Ending the Cycle of Generational Trauma 1 & 2
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Perfectionism served me as a shield for most of my childhood and adult life, a way of avoiding the gaze of others. I don’t know where the story started, or to whom the story belongs - did it start with me in early childhood? Did it start with my mother? Her mother? Is it cultural conditioning? What I do know is that for the longest time, the story in me has been that visibility is a threat to my safety.
My art is as much about my expression as it is a practice in visibility and vulnerability - a practice in allowing my humanity to be witnessed by others and trusting that I am safe to be seen.
You can view “Ending the Cycle of Generational Trauma 1&2” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Freedom is a Practice
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
”Freedom is a Practice” Series
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
There came a point where I realized healing is as much about tending to my joy and play as it is about tending to my sadness and pain. I decided to commit myself to a daily practice of play - my daily ritual of joy - where I would light candles, journal, and paint in my art journal with my inner critic on mute. It was from this practice that the “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection, a living history telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, and artist along the way, was born.
What I learned from this practice, though, is that there is a close relationship between joy and freedom and I think for many people, myself included, the art of freedom is something that gets lost as we age and responsibilities take over.
I was surprised to find that my practice of joy had also become a practice in freedom, and what I found in that practice of freedom was the courage to take risks, explore more, and be bold.
You can view the “Freedom is a Practice” series from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection
HerStory: A New Way of Being Taking Root
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
A New Way of Being Taking Root
“HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Like digging up the rotten roots and re-seeding the garden so that my daughter, and any future daughters, may enjoy the harvest to come, “A New Way of Being Taking Root” speaks to the work of unlearning the habits of trauma response that have for so long been essential to survival and re-learning how to feel safe in the world again.
This painting is part of my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” , a collection of large abstract paintings coming on September 30th. Collectors Club members will receive an invitation to a private viewing on my website prior to the public release. To join the Collectors Club, go to the link in my bio or join at www.MarcyParksArt.com
You can view “A New Way of Being Taking Root” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Giving to Myself What I Didn't Receive
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Giving to Myself What I Didn’t Receive
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, and artist along the way.
One day, during an EMDR session with my therapist, I saw her - my thirteen year old self. She was so angry and so, so tired. She had spent all of our life, holding my hand, guiding me along the path, vigilant and always alert to any and every potential threat and working tirelessly to keep us safe. At that moment I took her hand that day and held her like I do my own daughter and she just cried and cried. I thanked her for all the work she had done to keep us safe and for guiding us to this moment, for being so brave, for letting herself finally be seen, and I just cried and cried. I promised her that now I would keep her safe and that she was finally safe enough to rest, that I am safe enough to rest.
And now we walk a shared path together, holding each other’s hands, and I point out to her the clouds in the sky, the dancing light on the trail, and the blackberries growing on the vines and when we stop to pick the sweet berries she reminds me to mind the thorns.
You can view the “Giving to Myself What I Didn’t Receive” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: She
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
She
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, and artist along the way.
As soon as I became a mother, a part of myself that had been previously dormant was awakened. The only word I had to describe her in those early days was primal. She was terrifying. Not to me, or to my daughter, but to anyone that seemed to stand too close, to linger too long, or who presented any potential threat to the tender little life that had been created.
As time goes on and my daughter gets older and her world gets bigger, She and I become more familiar.
She is ancient - older than me, older than my mother, older than hers, older than the Earth,
She is the sharp set of eyes watching in the darkness,
She is always listening, always waiting, but never hesitating,
She is the deep, rumbling growl that comes as a warning,
She is violence and rage,She is tenderness,
She is sweetness,
She is love that is bigger than can be contained in a single body,
She is the mother.
You can view “She” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Feeling Safe to Be Seen
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Feeling Safe to Be Seen
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Perfectionism served me as a shield for most of my childhood and adult life, a way of avoiding the gaze of others. I don’t know where the story started, or to whom the story belongs - did it start with me in early childhood? Did it start with my mother? Her mother? Is it cultural conditioning? What I do know is that for the longest time, the story in me has been that visibility is a threat to my safety.
My art is as much about my expression as it is a practice in visibility and vulnerability - a practice in allowing my humanity to be witnessed by others and trusting that I am safe to be seen.
You can view “Feeling Safe to Be Seen” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection
HerStory: Safe with Her Joy
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Safe with Her Joy
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
I had always carried with me a mistrust for joy, but had reached a point in my healing process where I realized healing is as much about tending to my joy, play, and freedom, as it is about tending to my sadness and pain. At the start of the year, I committed myself to a daily practice of play and freedom - my daily ritual of joy - where I would light candles, journal, and paint in my art journal with my inner critic on mute. It was from this practice that the “HerStory” Collection was born.
“Safe with Her Joy” was the first painting in the “HerStory” Collection, born from the ritual of joy I had created at the beginning of the year and the moments of play and freedom I was finding when creating in my art journal.
You can view “Safe with Her Joy” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
Marcy Parks Artist Statement
Sharing with you what my art is really about
Artist’s Statement
An artist’s statement is an important thing when it comes to understanding and communicating the driving motivations and identity of your work. I have spent some time recently clarifying my artist’s statement with a friend and even though this is my first draft and it feels a little vulnerable and early to share it, because of the state of the world (the recent overturning of Roe) and the work I am currently doing in my studio, it feels relevant to share it now.
So if you have ever wondered about my art, “What does this mean?” or “What is this supposed to be?” Read on below.
Marcy Parks Artist Statement
If the body keeps the score, then mine is a 10 out of 10 on the Adverse Childhood Experiences quiz.
I am a survivor, daughter of a survivor, and a woman now raising a daughter of my own.
My works offer a glimpse into the intimate spaces of my own body and psyche, turning them inside out and bringing them into the light to study the histories, stories, memories, trauma, and, of course, all the emotions tangled and knotted within that have brought me to this moment, and the next, and the next.
Each painting is a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which need to be re-written, and serves as a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed. The creation of each painting like stepping into the garden of my being, digging up roots and their rot and re-seeding the garden so that my daughter, and any future daughters, may enjoy the harvest to come.
The physical nature of my work serves as a form of self-administered EMDR therapy, scribbling stories on a surface then connecting the physical sensations of the grip of a paint brush, the cool and slippery texture of paint on my fingers, the lyrical and gestural motions of applying paint to surface while following threads of thought as they weave and tangle in knots in my mind. Throughout the process of painting, though, the knots begin to loosen and I find the heart of the narratives that have driven me, consciously or otherwise, and like Hansel and Gretel following the trail of crumbs, I make my way back out of the woods to be greeted by the abstract forms, lines, and marks that map the journey to my healing.
Once an Artist, Always an Artist
Reflecting on Career Milestones in the snd Quarter of 2022
I don’t know about y’all, but this second quarter of the year has absolutely flown by for me.
January through March felt quieter, slower, maybe even a little more guarded. I was deep in reflection and the painting process during this time, creating some of the biggest and most diverse work I have made to-date, and processing through lifetimes of grief (it felt like).
But then April came and the warmer weather seemed to be coaxing me out of my shell, shifting my gaze from inward to outward. I have still been painting, but my production has slowed. I can sense that I am shifting into a different stage of the creative cycle.
I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by the buzz of activity, feeling as if I am always behind and getting very little done. The truth is, though, that so much has happened in the last three months and the flurry of activity has left little time for processing the moments.
As I write this, I am remembering that in the last three months I have hit multiple milestones in my art career.
In April, my mural, “Call me Crazy”, debuted at the 10th Anniversary ArtFields Art Competition in Lake City, South Carolina.
This moment was huge for me. This was my first time having my work shown in a juried show, shown alongside some of the most talented and inspiring artists in the southeastern region. I was blown away by this experience and what the folks of Lake City are doing to support southern art and artists. This competition changed me. I have another blog post talking about the whole experience that I share here.
At the beginning of May, a piece from my new collection that I have yet to share anywhere else, “She”, debuted at the Kingsport Art Guild for the Appalachian Regional Exhibit.
This was my second juried show to be entered into and it, too, felt surreal. I entered two pieces to be shown, one “safe” piece (a piece that was bold, and expressive, but what I considered to be easier to digest for the general public) and one “risky” piece (one that felt bolder and more raw). I was hesitant in applying to this show from the beginning because I have been told by people in this area before that my work “scares them”. I wasn’t sure how the two pieces would be received, if at all. Much to my surprise, the “riskier” piece was chosen to exhibit in the show. This moment felt very validating for the work I have felt pushed to pursue.
Currently, for the month of June, another new piece from my new collection, “Home in her Self”, is on display at The Emporium in Knoxville, TN as part of the Dogwood Arts Regional Exhibit.
This is my third juried show to be entered into after having been previously denied entry to this exhibition in the past. Again, this moment was hugely validating for the work I am currently feeling pushed to create, and also validating to my personal growth as an artist. While I am still struggling with my imposter syndrome as I see my work hanging next to such incredibly talented and experienced artists, I am still overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunities. (If you are in Knoxville, the show is up through June 25th! Be sure to stop and check it out.)
These were experiences that, when I was a teenager dreaming of being an artist one day, I always believed would mark the moment that I had “arrived” as an actual artist.
For the longest time I struggled to call myself “a real artist” because I had not ever done anything that I felt made me “worthy” of that title. I made art, sure, but that didn’t make me an artist! (18 year old Marcy was funny like that)
It wasn’t until 2019 that I would actually start claiming that title for myself, and even then it was with hesitation.
Now I have no problems telling people that I am an artist - but am I any more of an artist now than I was when I was 18? No, of course not.
The second quarter of the year brought with it huge milestones for me, all of which I am so incredibly grateful for and still reeling from, but it is during these moments that I have to remind myself that even if I were to never sell another painting or to never share another painting publicly ever again, I would still be an artist.
Yes, these moments are big milestones, yes, they feel very validating, but the truth is, and what I always tell my daughter, is that my relationship to my work is all that matters in the end.
That being said, I can’t help but feel like 18 year old Marcy did not dream big enough. 33 year old me has much bigger plans for the future and is excited to see where else this path leads.
And I cannot thank you enough for being here and sharing this journey with me.
What I Learned at ArtFields 2022
What I learned from competing at ArtFields 2022
In April I participated in the ArtFields Competition in Lake City, South Carolina and I have to tell you - it was incredible. I came away from this experience so inspired and for so many reasons that I will get into, but to start, let me tell you about the event.
If you haven’t heard of ArtFields, let me tell you about it. ArtFields is a 9-day-long art competition held in the small town of Lake City, South Carolina. Lake City is a small, agricultural town of about 2,000-4,000 people and ten years ago, the organizers of ArtFields decided they wanted to pursue revitalization of their community through southern art, and so, ArtFields was born.
Ten years later, ArtFields is massive, attracting thousands of artists to enter from all over the southeast. For their tenth year competition, 400 artists were selected, including myself, bringing their work to display all over the town of Lake City.
Over the course of the competition, there is art on display everywhere, and I really mean everywhere. Nearly every business you walk into has multiple artworks on display. Businesses participating in the ArtFields competition as hosts to artists and their artwork all had the ArtFields logo emblazoned on their windows and doors in bright orange. There are sculptures, murals, community art projects, and interactive art installations spread out all throughout the town all with ArtFields signs directing you to “more art”.
My piece, “Call Me Crazy”, was on display outdoors for the event. (Check out the catalog of artwork on display for the 2022 event here!)
I went to Lake City for the last weekend of the competition and I have to tell you, it was really overwhelming for several reasons - the artwork alone is something I am still processing nearly two months later. 400 pieces of artwork on display and I maybe saw three-quarters of the work that was on display. You really need the entire 9 days to see all the artwork and give each piece the time and attention it deserves.
For the sake of this blog post, though, I am going to list my 5 Biggest Takeaways from the ArtFields Competition.
Artist Appreciation:
Right off the bat, the thing that stuck out to me the most was the way Lake City values artists. Their goal for their community is to “Make Lake City and Art Town Year-Round”. Coming from a place that regularly overlooks the arts community to a place that not only values art and artists, but is also actively trying to recruit them into their community brought me to tears on my first day.
Community Support:
The entire Lake City community was pumped for this event. Nearly every business I walked into, I was greeted by business owners showing me the art that was on display in their building. Let’s just say that where I come from, there is not nearly the same level of enthusiasm for community events. Witnessing this had me wondering what all it took to get the community on board with supporting this event.
Talent in the South
Y’all, the art that was on display for this event was incredible (one of the reasons my imposter syndrome was raging over the weekend). Southern artists have historically been overlooked by museums, especially self-taught, black, southern artists. To anyone questioning the validity of southern art, I would encourage them to attend ArtFields. For a large part of my young-adult life I carried shame about the region where I grew up (for both personal and cultural reasons). I, at one point in time, did my best to eradicate any hint of a southern twang in my dialect. This show reminded me that, although the south has a troubled history, there is much to be proud of that is coming from this region - especially the brave souls creating bold and challenging work.
4. Imposter Syndrome is a Bitch
Speaking of imposter syndrome, mine was on high alert the weekend of the competition. As an “informally educated” artist (I don’t claim to be self-taught, because I have learned from other people, just not in an academic setting) with no formal training, I struggle with the validity of myself and my work in the presence of artists further into their career paths or that have formal training. I don’t know if this is something that will ever go away, and I still struggle to manage it, but one thing I try to do when I hear the voice of my imposter syndrome is to ask myself “what’s behind the story?” What is behind the story my imposter syndrome is trying to tell me? My imposter syndrome wants me to believe that my work is invalid compared to the work of others and doesn’t deserve to be in the company of such talent, but behind that story is the insecurity, envy, and grief of a vulnerable part of myself that is scared of being seen. Instead of listening to the story of my imposter syndrome, I choose to lovingly hold those feelings with both hands and give myself the comfort and assurance that I need in order to commit more fully to the work that fulfills my heart and soul.
5. Long-term sustainable support
My biggest takeaway from this experience was the work that ArtFields is doing to support artists in a sustainable, enduring way. ArtFields announced that their next phase of growth includes establishing affordable artist studio spaces and long-term artist residency programs in order to “make Lake City an Art Town year-round.” Because of their full-commitment to supporting southern artists, it inspired me to dream bigger for the mission of Bristol in Bloom and the ways in which Bristol in Bloom can grow to support Appalachian artists more sustainably.
I don’t know that I will truly know how deeply this experience has impacted me for some time, but I do know that I came away from it changed - not just by the experience as a participating artist attending the event for the first time, but also by the art that I consumed while there. For so long I have feared being noticed which resulted in me staying small and “playing it safe”, but after my weekend at ArtFields I made a promise to myself that I would no longer allow that fear to hold me back.
5 Steps to Creating Joy
Sharing the 5 steps I take to creating joy daily!
5 Steps to Creating Joy
At the beginning of this year, I committed myself to creating daily rituals around joy. Of course, life gets in the way and I don’t always make space for this ritual every day, but I make time for it every week at the minimum. After all, what is the point of having a practice if you can’t sustain it?
I made this commitment because, well, my relationship with joy is complicated. As someone who lives with C-PTSD, much of the work I am doing around healing involves learning to regulate my nervous system, and joy can feel very disruptive to my nervous system. In essence, joy can feel like a threat and trigger my trauma response. I decided to commit to this practice as a way of acclimating my body to the experience of joy, retraining my body and mind to feel safe in that experience, and in turn, safe in the expression of joy.
What I am learning from this practice, though, is that there is a close relationship between joy and freedom and I think for many people the art of freedom is something that gets lost as we age and responsibilities take over.
I know it may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes we have to schedule time for freedom.
When was the last time you scheduled time for play? When was the last time you scheduled unstructured time to explore and be creative?
I am going to share the 5 steps I take for finding freedom and creating joy in hopes that this inspires you to do the same!
Here are the steps I follow:
*disclaimer: this is not an affiliate post. I do not receive any money or paid benefits by sharing the following links.
1. Make a hot matcha latte with oat milk and coconut sugar with my super fancy (and also affordable) milk frother.
Apply it at home: What gives you comfort? Is it your favorite pajama pants? A cozy robe? An organized work station? Start with what gives you comfort and makes you feel at ease.
*This step is very important. I do not ever skip this step! If you want to delight in making your own fancy hot beverages at home, check out the frother here.
2. Set the mood with music.
Apply it at home: Check in with yourself and how you are feeling, then select your music accordingly. Choose a radio station on your streaming platform that captures the vibe you’re going for, but take caution not to go down the rabbit hole of curating the perfect playlist.
*My go-to playlist moody and melodic with the majority of the songs (and by majority, I mean all of them) coming from Florence and the Machine and Amythyst Kiah. Give it a listen here!
3. Light a candle.
Apply it at home: Mark the moment you begin. Ring a bell, take some cleansing breaths, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” - whatever you choose, signal to your body and mind that you are starting now and any interruptions or other distractions will have to wait until you are done.
*My favorite place for dreamy candles is Bohicket Apothecary. Check them out here!
4. WRITE IT OUT!
Apply it at home: Write whatever is on your mind at that moment and for however long it takes for you to stop worrying about what you are writing and, instead, get to the heart of the matter (usually about 3 pages for me, or 10-15 minutes). If this is your first time journaling, set yourself a timer for 5-10 minutes; you can always adjust if needed!
5. PAINT IT OUT!
Apply it at home: Joy and freedom go hand-in-hand and those two things can be found through PLAY! Consider this your permission to play. This step is all about freedom and play. Don’t have paint supplies? No worries! Do something else that helps you find a similar sense of freedom: Dance around like a wild person, go for a walk outside, do yoga, connect with the limitless expanse of your own consciousness with meditation; whatever you choose, make sure it is what you want to do, not what you think you should do.
*Painting over top of the words you wrote releases you from the fear that someone will read what you wrote in the future! This step is all about freedom and play. Don’t think about it, don’t judge it, JUST DO IT! If it gives you too much anxiety, BURN IT WHEN YOU ARE DONE! Need a journal with sturdy pages that can hold all of your feelings in the form of paint? Check out my favorite I have found so far!
These are the steps I am deliberate about scheduling into my week (you can check out some of my process videos on instagram here) to be in the practice of joy. For me, this ritual is as much about inviting more joy into my life as it is about retraining my body and nervous system to feel at ease in play again. I hope this helps you to do the same!
If you are interested in exploring this process further, keep an eye out for upcoming Paint Your Feelings Workshops! I’ll be updating my website here with in-person classes as well as virtual options in the future!
Paint Your Feelings Workshop
“Can you be aware that as much of the beauty you want to create, so too is there a need for things that are antithetical to it - so too is there a need for something gruesome, or ugly, or strange, or put together in ways that our mind can’t quite understand…” -Chani Nicholas
Paint Your Feelings Workshop
Monday, April 4th 2022
“Can you be aware that as much of the beauty you want to create, so too is there a need for things that are antithetical to it - so too is there a need for something gruesome, or ugly, or strange, or put together in ways that our mind can’t quite understand…” -Chani Nicholas
I have a young daughter named Searsha who will be turning 5 soon. She currently goes to a daycare where she gets to play, make art, make messes, and just be a kid for most of the day. Of course, there are still rules, and manners, and procedures she has to follow, but on most days, she absolutely loves it. Most of the time when I pick her up, she’s in good spirits, still riding the high of whatever game or activity she was doing with her friends, but there are some days when I pick her up that she falls into pieces the moment I get her buckled into her car seat.
On those days where she falls apart, it usually doesn’t take much to get her going. For example, there is a free library right outside of her school that we usually stop to visit at pick up. We take a book from the library and when we get to the car, I read it to her before we head home. Then, we return the book the next morning at drop off for another family to take home. One day she had a mega meltdown in the car because I told her I would read her the book after I buckled her into her seat instead of before.
The dramaaaaa
I’ve heard several other moms share similar experiences - speaking about the meltdown that comes shortly after pickup. This isn’t an uncommon thing for kids. It even has a name - the “After-School Restraint Collapse”.
The idea is that kids are trying so hard at school all day to “be good” or, in other words, to keep their shit together. So, after they have been on their absolute best behavior all day, once they get to a place where they feel safe to do so, they let it all go. It’s like a bubble just waiting to burst.
On the days when Searsha is having a harder time than normal, we make sure she knows all feelings are welcome and we prioritize low-key, soothing activities once we get home.
Just don’t make any loud noises
What I now recognize as both a parent and a human myself, though, is that adults are not very different from kids. Many adults that I know, myself included, come home exhausted by the end of the workday because the truth is that the customer isn’t always right, but having to pretend like they really are because your job depends on it is absolutely exhausting (or maybe you’re just tip-toeing around the delicate ego of your boss, or you really want to correct the coworker who keeps getting your name wrong, or maybe you’re waiting to hear back on the more-than-reasonable raise request that you should’ve gotten ages ago).
The difference, though, between adults and kids is that kids are really good at airing out all of their frustrations - maybe even a little too good sometimes. (Oh, did you want to actually hear the teller in the drive thru line of the bank? The screaming toddler in the backseat said IDGAF.) They don’t hold anything back out of “social obligation”. When kids are mad, sad, scared, or all of the above, they feel it, they express it, and next thing you know, they’re fine! It’s like it never happened.
As adults, I think, we get really bad at this. We get so conditioned to hold ourselves together and put our “best foot forward” in every setting. And don’t even get me started on social media and the role it plays in all of this - but to be clear, it plays a major role. It’s like we learn to hold our shit together in so many different social settings that we forget how and where to let ourselves fall apart, so we, too, become the bubble just waiting to burst. .
Don’t forget to breathe!
But everyone, and I really mean everyone, needs that space where they can let themselves be their whole, honest, messy selves. Everyone needs a space where they can just let shit fall apart, where they can say what they really want to say, where they don’t have to be perfect, where they can just be.
That feels better
That’s exactly what my Paint Your Feelings workshop is meant to be. It is not a workshop for making masterpieces, it is a workshop about learning to be whole, real, messy humans again without judgment or resistance. Remember the “perfect golden child” Isabela singing out her revelation in the movie Encanto? “I’m so sick of pretty, I want something true, don’t you?”
A transformation we love to see
My Paint Your Feelings workshop is an introduction to my own daily painting process. When I set out to create a painting, I never know what the outcome will be or the finished work will look like. In those moments of creating, my only intention in those moments is to show up, be honest and express myself authentically, no matter how “messy” it might look. In other words, I am giving myself permission to fall apart.
The objective in the Paint Your Feelings workshop is to dedicate time and space to allowing yourself to experience your own emotions and validate yourself by witnessing yourself. In the workshop, we get quiet, get curious, write, and paint. Again, the goal isn’t to come out of the class with a masterpiece, but instead to come out more connected to and accepting of yourself and where you are in the moment.
My next Paint Your Feelings workshop is coming up on Monday, April 4th at the Full Bloom Farmhouse in Abingdon, VA and I am so excited to share it with everyone! Join the Collectors Club to get updates about future workshops, including future online workshops!
Season 2 EP 11: Creating Slowly with Brian Serway
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Perfectionist in Recovery
Rest is a Creative Practice
Hello and Welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast!
My name is Marcy Parks and I am a Perfectionist in Recovery and today I am sharing highlights from an amazing conversation that I had with a dear friend of mine and talented creative, Brian Serway, (you can check out his work here) but first - I want to take a second to say thank you!
Thank you so much for being here and joining me for this episode today. Thank you for supporting my work and for supporting the work I do for this podcast! I got some new feedback on the podcast this week and I am so grateful always for those of you that send over your thoughts about the podcast. In case you didn’t know, your feedback makes this podcast even better for you to listen to, so, please, send me all of the feedback! If you have some thoughts that you want to share about the podcast, send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or go to my website at www.MarcyParksArt.com/PerfectionistinRecovery and submit your feedback through the feedback form at the bottom of the page. I am always looking to improve this podcast to meet your creative needs, so let me know what you think!
That being said, I want to hear from you! Do you have questions about things you have heard on the podcast? Do you want to hear a discussion about a specific topic? Let me know! Again, you can send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or you can go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and submit your questions through the feedback form there at the bottom of the page. Again, go to www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and send me your thoughts! Let me know what you want to hear.
Now let’s get into it!
Transcripts Coming Soon
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 8: Rest is a Creative Practice
Listen Now!
Perfectionist in Recovery
Rest is a Creative Practice
Hello and Welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast!
My name is Marcy Parks and I am a Perfectionist in Recovery and today I am sharing highlights from an amazing conversation that I had with a dear friend of mine and talented creative, Jocelyn Mathewes, but first - I want to take a second to say thank you!
Thank you so much for being here and joining me for this episode today. Thank you for supporting my work and for supporting the work I do for this podcast! I got some new feedback on the podcast this week and I am so grateful always for those of you that send over your thoughts about the podcast. In case you didn’t know, your feedback makes this podcast even better for you to listen to, so, please, send me all of the feedback! If you have some thoughts that you want to share about the podcast, send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or go to my website at www.MarcyParksArt.com/PerfectionistinRecovery and submit your feedback through the feedback form at the bottom of the page. I am always looking to improve this podcast to meet your creative needs, so let me know what you think!
That being said, I want to hear from you! Do you have questions about things you have heard on the podcast? Do you want to hear a discussion about a specific topic? Let me know! Again, you can send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or you can go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and submit your questions through the feedback form there at the bottom of the page. Again, go to www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and send me your thoughts! Let me know what you want to hear.
Now let’s get into it!
Transcripts Coming Soon
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 5: Finding Joy in Creating with Richard Graves
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Perfectionist in Recovery
Finding Joy in Creating with Richard Graves
I had a great conversation with guest speaker and fellow artist-friend of mine, Richard Graves, from Abingdon Virginia about his creative practice, making room for joy in his creative practice, managing perfectionism, and his passion for youth engagement in the arts. This conversation was LOADED with goodness, so I saved some of the highlights for you below! Enjoy.
Connect with Richard on social media!
www.facebook.com/richardgravesart
www.instagram.com/serpounce
“I try to be really mindful of separating the art from the business side of it. I need to have time where I'm working on art just for art's sake and just for myself.”
-Richard Graves
Working as a full time artist, Richard describes his experience of developing a rhythm of working and how a necessary element of that rhythm is making space for him to make art for art’s sake - not with the intention of sharing it.
“I have a sketchbook where if I'm working in that sketchbook, unless something's just a complete home run, it stays in the sketchbook or it's not something that I'm going to sell, but it's something that I'm doing for myself and for my own creative practice.”
-Richard Graves
“I'm trying to remember that the validity of the art has nothing to do with how it's received or where it goes on a show or what type of feedback it gets.”
-Richard Graves
I really appreciated this reminder from Richard about the validity of art and its true value.
Speaking about Play in his art practice and his passion for youth engagement in the arts:
“There are times where I'm burnt out and I don't feel like doing anything and just making marks on paper and color on paper and mixing colors and playing. I think there's kind of that really great joy in that.”
-Richard Graves
“I love youth engagement with art. I love working with younger artists and kids and seeing how they approach it without thinking of all the tips and tools and all the things that you collect for your tool belt as an artist. It’s more forgetting about all of that and just having fun.”
-Richard Graves
“I have a four or five year old niece at the time, and she was showing some pictures to her grandfather, and I was in the room and they’re at that age where everything is silly, we call this silly and that's silly. And the grandfather looked at her picture and said, ‘Oh, I love this, but the sky is pink. That's so silly.’ And she got very, very serious and said, ‘No, Richard's an artist, and he said the sky could be whatever color I want it to be!’ That is one of my proudest moments, but it's also something that I want to remember myself.”
-Richard Graves
Speaking on the role art plays in his life:
“Art is how I digest feelings. That's how I feel most comfortable communicating with the world. It's where I feel the biggest, strongest connection with other people and with my community.”
-Richard Graves
“There's been plenty of times I've been painting something and I think about what's been going on in my life as I look at it, and I'm saying, ‘oh, this is very much that.’”
-Richard Graves
Speaking on how he fuels his creative practice:
“One big one, big activity that's been kind of a godsend for me, especially in the last five years, is yoga. I'm very much a go, go, go person and being able to kind of center myself and slow down like I see yoga as having a huge explicit connection with with the art of painting and drawing.”
-Richard Graves
“Taking time to appreciate and support other artists. I think being influenced by the community, and particularly the arts community, is very important to me. I try to make a point to go out and see other people's shows and to keep up with with artists that inspire me and the larger community. Being engaged in the arts in a broader sense helps encourage and focus me for when I get into the room alone to start the process of creating.”
-Richard Graves
Speaking on how he manages Perfectionism:
“I don't have those voices of being self-critical while I'm creating. I think once I'm in the flow. . . I'm feeling very present. I often get those voices before and after. It's before when I have to narrow down my decisions of what paint am I using, what colors, you know, the design, who's the intended audience - all those decisions pile up ahead of time. That's when I'm getting kind of the most self-critical, self-conscious, a little too self-aware in the bad way. Then it happens afterwards when it's like, ‘oh, will this sell?’ But the actual process of creating, for the most part, with a few exceptions, once I get going, I'm good to go. And it's kind of having to remind myself... I know how to do this. I've done this before. I might be taking a different approach or trying something new this time, but it's like if I sit down and start working, kind of clear those voices for a second, I can kind of work through it and find those periods of joy.”
-Richard Graves
Connect with Richard on social media! Check him out at www.instagram.com/serpounce or https://www.facebook.com/Richardgravesart
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 2: Finding Your Voice with Jason Flack
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Perfectionist in Recovery
On today’s episode of the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast, I am joined by Johnson City, Tennessee based artist and artist advocate, Jason Flack. You can follow Jason on instagram at www.instagram.com/artbyjasonflack
In this episode we talked about the role art plays in helping people find their voice and connect with their identity. Here are some of the highlights from our discussion!
“I’ve always been a creator, but started taking it seriously after the death of my twin sister and needing an outlet.”
-Jason Flack
Jason shared about how his twin sister’s unexpected passing influenced him early in his life and drove him to painting as a way of processing experiences and healing.
“I had an identity crisis through life, and death.”
-Jason Flack
Jason speaks about how so much of his identity was wrapped up in his twin sister. “I was so shy, she spoke for me. In school, my sister’s favorite color was purple. Guess what my favorite color was - it was purple.” But after her passing, art has become a vehicle for him to express himself.
“The way I can speak louder is through something bright on my canvas.”
-Jason Flack
“Now, time is incredibly important. Even when I am wasting time, I am thinking about art. Now it is my identity without my sister. Art is my twin.”
-Jason Flack
After Jessica’s, Jason’s twin sister, unexpected passing, Jason shares how he perceives time and the role art has since come to play in his life.
“People look at me like I am not from here because Appalachia has gotten away from this creative aspect, but every one of us has someone in our bloodline way back, or even recently, who made their own shoes, clothes, and art as well.”
-Jason Flack
Jason speaks to his experience as being a child of both black and white parents growing up and being an artist in Appalachia.
“It’s always ‘we’ before ‘me’.”
-Jason Flack
Jason speaks about his work as an advocate for artists in Appalachia and his intention to collaborate with and bring artists together to reach out to the community and bring attention to Appalachian art and artists.
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 1: Welcome Back!
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Perfectionist in Recovery
Welcome Back!
Welcome Back!
Hello and Welcome to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast. My name is Marcy Parks and I am a Perfectionist in Recovery.
Welcome back to the podcast! It has been a long, but needed break since our last season, but I am excited and ready to be back sharing with you here in this space. This season I am planning to have more guest speakers on the podcast sharing about their creative practices and the role that their creative practice plays in their life and what that looks like. Some of those speakers will be artists making a living off of their artwork, some of those speakers will be professionals in the corporate world whose creative practice is their refuge, but in every conversation I hope you are able to find and connect with a story that sounds familiar to your own.
That being said, I will still be sharing meditations and my own musings on creativity in between. I am still going to be hounding you about starting a journaling practice if you haven’t already, but not judging you if you’ve fallen off the wagon or don’t have the energy to start one either. I hope it goes without saying, but in case it doesn’t, I will say it anyway, I want this space to be a resource of comfort, inspiration, and connection. I never want anyone listening to this podcast to feel guilt or shame for not having the time, energy, or resources to commit to their creative practice. There are seasons for everything and it is completely normal to move into a season where creative motivation and inspiration runs dry.
Speaking of seasons, I thought I would take a moment to catch up on what has been going on behind the scenes during this break. We all know that 2020 was one, long, challenging season for everyone on every level. Following the conclusion of the first season of this podcast last year, I hit a pretty hard wall of burnout and fatigue that led to me taking a long break to try and rest, but my inner perfectionist has a really strong, negative reaction to rest that can make it hard to actually do so. I recently completed a new collection of work titled “Winter” speaking specifically to this tension - the tension of being in a season that calls for rest, the frustrated reluctance of actually wanting to rest, and the transformation that takes place when we are actually deliberate about rest. The collection was inspired by the literal season of winter, but is more about the winter seasons of life.
Winter is a season that forces us to rest. We lose daylight, it gets colder outside, and rest becomes an essential part of our survival of the season. All non-essential functions and tasks are reduced in order to better our chances of surviving the season. My collection was speaking to this feeling - the feeling when you are in a season of life that is demanding you take rest. Whether it is a pandemic causing a global shut down, or your body shutting down on you, there is a clear message that it is time for you to stop doing and slow down, whether you like it or not.
I am been feeling this so much within myself in the last few months - an intense push to slow down, to stop, and to find joy where I can, so that is where my focus has shifted recently. Right now I am just trying to be deliberate in what I give my energy and attention to and taking care to spend time with my family. Searsha, my daughter, will be four this year and time with her right now is my priority. I gain so much inspiration from watching her grow more and more independent and interacting with her world. Just this morning I was watching her coloring on her own chalkboard and it was so much fun to watch the ways in which she would be coloring wildly one minute and then very deliberate and very intentional in the marks she was making the next. That same freedom and play that she brings to everything she creates is exactly what I hope to one day find and translate through my own work.
In the meantime, I am back to doing the practices that I know fuel and support my creative practice. I am journaling, meditating, practicing yoga, and making time to connect with the people that inspire me the most. Right now I am binging every episode of The Creative Pep Talk podcast with Andy J. Pizza. It is an incredible resource and I love it SO MUCH! Definitely check that out. But other than that, I am back to sharing with you here every week! I am glad to be back in the conversation around creativity and finding inspiration in your daily life. Tune in next week to hear from one of my most favorite makers from my area, Jason Flack! You can find him on instagram at www.instagram.com/artbyjasonflack . Jay is such a fun person to talk to, he is so passionate about art and bringing the community together through art and I love that about him, but he is also just a really amazing human being and I was so inspired by his passion and enthusiasm! Tune back in next week on Friday at 12 PM to hear from him.
Journaling Prompt:
For now, maybe just take some time today for yourself to just write down anything and everything that is on your mind and treat it like you are wiping the slate clean, turning a new page, starting fresh. Just get it all out of your head and on to paper so you can just let it all go.
Until next time.
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!