HerStory: Home in Her Self
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Home in Her Self
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Since I was a child, the messaging I received around femininity has always felt in conflict with my own experience and expression of femininity. Femininity was always presented to me as ruffles and lace, bows with curls, charming giggles, politeness, restriction, submission, joyful, but femininity in me has never been that. Loud and expressive, rebellious and assertive, wild, boisterous, competitive, athletic, strong, rage-filled; I have always felt most at home in the mess, in the space of undone.
My “Home in Her Self” painting is the physical representation of the rewriting of the narratives I inherited around femininity and serves as a reclamation of my feminine identity the way that I experience it - brave, raw, and commanding.
You can view “Home in Her Self” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Finding the Heart of a Long-held Narrative
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Finding the Heart of a Long-held narrative
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The physical nature of my work serves as a form of self-administered EMDR therapy, scribbling stories on a surface then connecting the physical sensations of the grip of a paint brush, the cool and slippery texture of paint on my fingers, the lyrical and gestural motions of applying paint to surface while following threads of thought as they weave and tangle in knots in my mind. Throughout the process of painting, though, the knots begin to loosen and I find the heart of the narratives that have driven me, consciously or otherwise, and like Hansel and Gretel following the trail of crumbs, I make my way back out of the woods to be greeted by the abstract forms, lines, and marks that map the journey to my healing.
You can view the “Finding the Heart of a Long-held Narrative” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Wounds of the Mother (and Her Mother, and Hers)
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Wounds of the Mother (and Her Mother and Hers)
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
I am a survivor, daughter of a survivor, and a woman raised under the umbrella of patriarchy and misogyny now raising a daughter of my own.
“Wounds of the Mother (and her mother, and hers)” speaks to the toxic narratives and cycles of trauma around womanhood and femininity I have inherited from society and my own family and the conscious choice to do the work that ensures those cycles end with me.
You can view “Wounds of the Mother (and Her Mother and Hers)” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Ending the Cycle of Generational Trauma 1 & 2
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Ending the Cycle of Generational Trauma 1 & 2
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Perfectionism served me as a shield for most of my childhood and adult life, a way of avoiding the gaze of others. I don’t know where the story started, or to whom the story belongs - did it start with me in early childhood? Did it start with my mother? Her mother? Is it cultural conditioning? What I do know is that for the longest time, the story in me has been that visibility is a threat to my safety.
My art is as much about my expression as it is a practice in visibility and vulnerability - a practice in allowing my humanity to be witnessed by others and trusting that I am safe to be seen.
You can view “Ending the Cycle of Generational Trauma 1&2” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Freedom is a Practice
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
”Freedom is a Practice” Series
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
There came a point where I realized healing is as much about tending to my joy and play as it is about tending to my sadness and pain. I decided to commit myself to a daily practice of play - my daily ritual of joy - where I would light candles, journal, and paint in my art journal with my inner critic on mute. It was from this practice that the “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection, a living history telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, and artist along the way, was born.
What I learned from this practice, though, is that there is a close relationship between joy and freedom and I think for many people, myself included, the art of freedom is something that gets lost as we age and responsibilities take over.
I was surprised to find that my practice of joy had also become a practice in freedom, and what I found in that practice of freedom was the courage to take risks, explore more, and be bold.
You can view the “Freedom is a Practice” series from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection
HerStory: A New Way of Being Taking Root
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
A New Way of Being Taking Root
“HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Like digging up the rotten roots and re-seeding the garden so that my daughter, and any future daughters, may enjoy the harvest to come, “A New Way of Being Taking Root” speaks to the work of unlearning the habits of trauma response that have for so long been essential to survival and re-learning how to feel safe in the world again.
This painting is part of my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” , a collection of large abstract paintings coming on September 30th. Collectors Club members will receive an invitation to a private viewing on my website prior to the public release. To join the Collectors Club, go to the link in my bio or join at www.MarcyParksArt.com
You can view “A New Way of Being Taking Root” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Giving to Myself What I Didn't Receive
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Giving to Myself What I Didn’t Receive
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, and artist along the way.
One day, during an EMDR session with my therapist, I saw her - my thirteen year old self. She was so angry and so, so tired. She had spent all of our life, holding my hand, guiding me along the path, vigilant and always alert to any and every potential threat and working tirelessly to keep us safe. At that moment I took her hand that day and held her like I do my own daughter and she just cried and cried. I thanked her for all the work she had done to keep us safe and for guiding us to this moment, for being so brave, for letting herself finally be seen, and I just cried and cried. I promised her that now I would keep her safe and that she was finally safe enough to rest, that I am safe enough to rest.
And now we walk a shared path together, holding each other’s hands, and I point out to her the clouds in the sky, the dancing light on the trail, and the blackberries growing on the vines and when we stop to pick the sweet berries she reminds me to mind the thorns.
You can view the “Giving to Myself What I Didn’t Receive” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: She
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
She
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, and artist along the way.
As soon as I became a mother, a part of myself that had been previously dormant was awakened. The only word I had to describe her in those early days was primal. She was terrifying. Not to me, or to my daughter, but to anyone that seemed to stand too close, to linger too long, or who presented any potential threat to the tender little life that had been created.
As time goes on and my daughter gets older and her world gets bigger, She and I become more familiar.
She is ancient - older than me, older than my mother, older than hers, older than the Earth,
She is the sharp set of eyes watching in the darkness,
She is always listening, always waiting, but never hesitating,
She is the deep, rumbling growl that comes as a warning,
She is violence and rage,She is tenderness,
She is sweetness,
She is love that is bigger than can be contained in a single body,
She is the mother.
You can view “She” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
HerStory: Feeling Safe to Be Seen
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Feeling Safe to Be Seen
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
The paintings from my HerStory Collection are a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which of those need to be re-written. This collection serves as a mirror, a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed.
Perfectionism served me as a shield for most of my childhood and adult life, a way of avoiding the gaze of others. I don’t know where the story started, or to whom the story belongs - did it start with me in early childhood? Did it start with my mother? Her mother? Is it cultural conditioning? What I do know is that for the longest time, the story in me has been that visibility is a threat to my safety.
My art is as much about my expression as it is a practice in visibility and vulnerability - a practice in allowing my humanity to be witnessed by others and trusting that I am safe to be seen.
You can view “Feeling Safe to Be Seen” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection
HerStory: Safe with Her Joy
Sharing with you what my art is really about
HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey
A collection of large abstract paintings
Safe with Her Joy
“HerStory” is a living history, telling the story of my healing journey and detailing the discoveries I am making about myself as a human, mother, woman, artist, and survivor along the way.
I had always carried with me a mistrust for joy, but had reached a point in my healing process where I realized healing is as much about tending to my joy, play, and freedom, as it is about tending to my sadness and pain. At the start of the year, I committed myself to a daily practice of play and freedom - my daily ritual of joy - where I would light candles, journal, and paint in my art journal with my inner critic on mute. It was from this practice that the “HerStory” Collection was born.
“Safe with Her Joy” was the first painting in the “HerStory” Collection, born from the ritual of joy I had created at the beginning of the year and the moments of play and freedom I was finding when creating in my art journal.
You can view “Safe with Her Joy” from my “HerStory: A Survivor’s Journey” Collection in my shop here.
Marcy Parks Artist Statement
Sharing with you what my art is really about
Artist’s Statement
An artist’s statement is an important thing when it comes to understanding and communicating the driving motivations and identity of your work. I have spent some time recently clarifying my artist’s statement with a friend and even though this is my first draft and it feels a little vulnerable and early to share it, because of the state of the world (the recent overturning of Roe) and the work I am currently doing in my studio, it feels relevant to share it now.
So if you have ever wondered about my art, “What does this mean?” or “What is this supposed to be?” Read on below.
Marcy Parks Artist Statement
If the body keeps the score, then mine is a 10 out of 10 on the Adverse Childhood Experiences quiz.
I am a survivor, daughter of a survivor, and a woman now raising a daughter of my own.
My works offer a glimpse into the intimate spaces of my own body and psyche, turning them inside out and bringing them into the light to study the histories, stories, memories, trauma, and, of course, all the emotions tangled and knotted within that have brought me to this moment, and the next, and the next.
Each painting is a reckoning with parts of my body and mind that have remained hidden, an attempt to decipher which narratives around womanhood, femininity, and my role in the world are actually my own, which I have inherited, and which need to be re-written, and serves as a way to see those parts of myself, know them, and be for myself what I have always needed. The creation of each painting like stepping into the garden of my being, digging up roots and their rot and re-seeding the garden so that my daughter, and any future daughters, may enjoy the harvest to come.
The physical nature of my work serves as a form of self-administered EMDR therapy, scribbling stories on a surface then connecting the physical sensations of the grip of a paint brush, the cool and slippery texture of paint on my fingers, the lyrical and gestural motions of applying paint to surface while following threads of thought as they weave and tangle in knots in my mind. Throughout the process of painting, though, the knots begin to loosen and I find the heart of the narratives that have driven me, consciously or otherwise, and like Hansel and Gretel following the trail of crumbs, I make my way back out of the woods to be greeted by the abstract forms, lines, and marks that map the journey to my healing.
Once an Artist, Always an Artist
Reflecting on Career Milestones in the snd Quarter of 2022
I don’t know about y’all, but this second quarter of the year has absolutely flown by for me.
January through March felt quieter, slower, maybe even a little more guarded. I was deep in reflection and the painting process during this time, creating some of the biggest and most diverse work I have made to-date, and processing through lifetimes of grief (it felt like).
But then April came and the warmer weather seemed to be coaxing me out of my shell, shifting my gaze from inward to outward. I have still been painting, but my production has slowed. I can sense that I am shifting into a different stage of the creative cycle.
I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by the buzz of activity, feeling as if I am always behind and getting very little done. The truth is, though, that so much has happened in the last three months and the flurry of activity has left little time for processing the moments.
As I write this, I am remembering that in the last three months I have hit multiple milestones in my art career.
In April, my mural, “Call me Crazy”, debuted at the 10th Anniversary ArtFields Art Competition in Lake City, South Carolina.
This moment was huge for me. This was my first time having my work shown in a juried show, shown alongside some of the most talented and inspiring artists in the southeastern region. I was blown away by this experience and what the folks of Lake City are doing to support southern art and artists. This competition changed me. I have another blog post talking about the whole experience that I share here.
At the beginning of May, a piece from my new collection that I have yet to share anywhere else, “She”, debuted at the Kingsport Art Guild for the Appalachian Regional Exhibit.
This was my second juried show to be entered into and it, too, felt surreal. I entered two pieces to be shown, one “safe” piece (a piece that was bold, and expressive, but what I considered to be easier to digest for the general public) and one “risky” piece (one that felt bolder and more raw). I was hesitant in applying to this show from the beginning because I have been told by people in this area before that my work “scares them”. I wasn’t sure how the two pieces would be received, if at all. Much to my surprise, the “riskier” piece was chosen to exhibit in the show. This moment felt very validating for the work I have felt pushed to pursue.
Currently, for the month of June, another new piece from my new collection, “Home in her Self”, is on display at The Emporium in Knoxville, TN as part of the Dogwood Arts Regional Exhibit.
This is my third juried show to be entered into after having been previously denied entry to this exhibition in the past. Again, this moment was hugely validating for the work I am currently feeling pushed to create, and also validating to my personal growth as an artist. While I am still struggling with my imposter syndrome as I see my work hanging next to such incredibly talented and experienced artists, I am still overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunities. (If you are in Knoxville, the show is up through June 25th! Be sure to stop and check it out.)
These were experiences that, when I was a teenager dreaming of being an artist one day, I always believed would mark the moment that I had “arrived” as an actual artist.
For the longest time I struggled to call myself “a real artist” because I had not ever done anything that I felt made me “worthy” of that title. I made art, sure, but that didn’t make me an artist! (18 year old Marcy was funny like that)
It wasn’t until 2019 that I would actually start claiming that title for myself, and even then it was with hesitation.
Now I have no problems telling people that I am an artist - but am I any more of an artist now than I was when I was 18? No, of course not.
The second quarter of the year brought with it huge milestones for me, all of which I am so incredibly grateful for and still reeling from, but it is during these moments that I have to remind myself that even if I were to never sell another painting or to never share another painting publicly ever again, I would still be an artist.
Yes, these moments are big milestones, yes, they feel very validating, but the truth is, and what I always tell my daughter, is that my relationship to my work is all that matters in the end.
That being said, I can’t help but feel like 18 year old Marcy did not dream big enough. 33 year old me has much bigger plans for the future and is excited to see where else this path leads.
And I cannot thank you enough for being here and sharing this journey with me.
What I Learned at ArtFields 2022
What I learned from competing at ArtFields 2022
In April I participated in the ArtFields Competition in Lake City, South Carolina and I have to tell you - it was incredible. I came away from this experience so inspired and for so many reasons that I will get into, but to start, let me tell you about the event.
If you haven’t heard of ArtFields, let me tell you about it. ArtFields is a 9-day-long art competition held in the small town of Lake City, South Carolina. Lake City is a small, agricultural town of about 2,000-4,000 people and ten years ago, the organizers of ArtFields decided they wanted to pursue revitalization of their community through southern art, and so, ArtFields was born.
Ten years later, ArtFields is massive, attracting thousands of artists to enter from all over the southeast. For their tenth year competition, 400 artists were selected, including myself, bringing their work to display all over the town of Lake City.
Over the course of the competition, there is art on display everywhere, and I really mean everywhere. Nearly every business you walk into has multiple artworks on display. Businesses participating in the ArtFields competition as hosts to artists and their artwork all had the ArtFields logo emblazoned on their windows and doors in bright orange. There are sculptures, murals, community art projects, and interactive art installations spread out all throughout the town all with ArtFields signs directing you to “more art”.
My piece, “Call Me Crazy”, was on display outdoors for the event. (Check out the catalog of artwork on display for the 2022 event here!)
I went to Lake City for the last weekend of the competition and I have to tell you, it was really overwhelming for several reasons - the artwork alone is something I am still processing nearly two months later. 400 pieces of artwork on display and I maybe saw three-quarters of the work that was on display. You really need the entire 9 days to see all the artwork and give each piece the time and attention it deserves.
For the sake of this blog post, though, I am going to list my 5 Biggest Takeaways from the ArtFields Competition.
Artist Appreciation:
Right off the bat, the thing that stuck out to me the most was the way Lake City values artists. Their goal for their community is to “Make Lake City and Art Town Year-Round”. Coming from a place that regularly overlooks the arts community to a place that not only values art and artists, but is also actively trying to recruit them into their community brought me to tears on my first day.
Community Support:
The entire Lake City community was pumped for this event. Nearly every business I walked into, I was greeted by business owners showing me the art that was on display in their building. Let’s just say that where I come from, there is not nearly the same level of enthusiasm for community events. Witnessing this had me wondering what all it took to get the community on board with supporting this event.
Talent in the South
Y’all, the art that was on display for this event was incredible (one of the reasons my imposter syndrome was raging over the weekend). Southern artists have historically been overlooked by museums, especially self-taught, black, southern artists. To anyone questioning the validity of southern art, I would encourage them to attend ArtFields. For a large part of my young-adult life I carried shame about the region where I grew up (for both personal and cultural reasons). I, at one point in time, did my best to eradicate any hint of a southern twang in my dialect. This show reminded me that, although the south has a troubled history, there is much to be proud of that is coming from this region - especially the brave souls creating bold and challenging work.
4. Imposter Syndrome is a Bitch
Speaking of imposter syndrome, mine was on high alert the weekend of the competition. As an “informally educated” artist (I don’t claim to be self-taught, because I have learned from other people, just not in an academic setting) with no formal training, I struggle with the validity of myself and my work in the presence of artists further into their career paths or that have formal training. I don’t know if this is something that will ever go away, and I still struggle to manage it, but one thing I try to do when I hear the voice of my imposter syndrome is to ask myself “what’s behind the story?” What is behind the story my imposter syndrome is trying to tell me? My imposter syndrome wants me to believe that my work is invalid compared to the work of others and doesn’t deserve to be in the company of such talent, but behind that story is the insecurity, envy, and grief of a vulnerable part of myself that is scared of being seen. Instead of listening to the story of my imposter syndrome, I choose to lovingly hold those feelings with both hands and give myself the comfort and assurance that I need in order to commit more fully to the work that fulfills my heart and soul.
5. Long-term sustainable support
My biggest takeaway from this experience was the work that ArtFields is doing to support artists in a sustainable, enduring way. ArtFields announced that their next phase of growth includes establishing affordable artist studio spaces and long-term artist residency programs in order to “make Lake City an Art Town year-round.” Because of their full-commitment to supporting southern artists, it inspired me to dream bigger for the mission of Bristol in Bloom and the ways in which Bristol in Bloom can grow to support Appalachian artists more sustainably.
I don’t know that I will truly know how deeply this experience has impacted me for some time, but I do know that I came away from it changed - not just by the experience as a participating artist attending the event for the first time, but also by the art that I consumed while there. For so long I have feared being noticed which resulted in me staying small and “playing it safe”, but after my weekend at ArtFields I made a promise to myself that I would no longer allow that fear to hold me back.
5 Steps to Creating Joy
Sharing the 5 steps I take to creating joy daily!
5 Steps to Creating Joy
At the beginning of this year, I committed myself to creating daily rituals around joy. Of course, life gets in the way and I don’t always make space for this ritual every day, but I make time for it every week at the minimum. After all, what is the point of having a practice if you can’t sustain it?
I made this commitment because, well, my relationship with joy is complicated. As someone who lives with C-PTSD, much of the work I am doing around healing involves learning to regulate my nervous system, and joy can feel very disruptive to my nervous system. In essence, joy can feel like a threat and trigger my trauma response. I decided to commit to this practice as a way of acclimating my body to the experience of joy, retraining my body and mind to feel safe in that experience, and in turn, safe in the expression of joy.
What I am learning from this practice, though, is that there is a close relationship between joy and freedom and I think for many people the art of freedom is something that gets lost as we age and responsibilities take over.
I know it may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes we have to schedule time for freedom.
When was the last time you scheduled time for play? When was the last time you scheduled unstructured time to explore and be creative?
I am going to share the 5 steps I take for finding freedom and creating joy in hopes that this inspires you to do the same!
Here are the steps I follow:
*disclaimer: this is not an affiliate post. I do not receive any money or paid benefits by sharing the following links.
1. Make a hot matcha latte with oat milk and coconut sugar with my super fancy (and also affordable) milk frother.
Apply it at home: What gives you comfort? Is it your favorite pajama pants? A cozy robe? An organized work station? Start with what gives you comfort and makes you feel at ease.
*This step is very important. I do not ever skip this step! If you want to delight in making your own fancy hot beverages at home, check out the frother here.
2. Set the mood with music.
Apply it at home: Check in with yourself and how you are feeling, then select your music accordingly. Choose a radio station on your streaming platform that captures the vibe you’re going for, but take caution not to go down the rabbit hole of curating the perfect playlist.
*My go-to playlist moody and melodic with the majority of the songs (and by majority, I mean all of them) coming from Florence and the Machine and Amythyst Kiah. Give it a listen here!
3. Light a candle.
Apply it at home: Mark the moment you begin. Ring a bell, take some cleansing breaths, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” - whatever you choose, signal to your body and mind that you are starting now and any interruptions or other distractions will have to wait until you are done.
*My favorite place for dreamy candles is Bohicket Apothecary. Check them out here!
4. WRITE IT OUT!
Apply it at home: Write whatever is on your mind at that moment and for however long it takes for you to stop worrying about what you are writing and, instead, get to the heart of the matter (usually about 3 pages for me, or 10-15 minutes). If this is your first time journaling, set yourself a timer for 5-10 minutes; you can always adjust if needed!
5. PAINT IT OUT!
Apply it at home: Joy and freedom go hand-in-hand and those two things can be found through PLAY! Consider this your permission to play. This step is all about freedom and play. Don’t have paint supplies? No worries! Do something else that helps you find a similar sense of freedom: Dance around like a wild person, go for a walk outside, do yoga, connect with the limitless expanse of your own consciousness with meditation; whatever you choose, make sure it is what you want to do, not what you think you should do.
*Painting over top of the words you wrote releases you from the fear that someone will read what you wrote in the future! This step is all about freedom and play. Don’t think about it, don’t judge it, JUST DO IT! If it gives you too much anxiety, BURN IT WHEN YOU ARE DONE! Need a journal with sturdy pages that can hold all of your feelings in the form of paint? Check out my favorite I have found so far!
These are the steps I am deliberate about scheduling into my week (you can check out some of my process videos on instagram here) to be in the practice of joy. For me, this ritual is as much about inviting more joy into my life as it is about retraining my body and nervous system to feel at ease in play again. I hope this helps you to do the same!
If you are interested in exploring this process further, keep an eye out for upcoming Paint Your Feelings Workshops! I’ll be updating my website here with in-person classes as well as virtual options in the future!
Paint Your Feelings Workshop
“Can you be aware that as much of the beauty you want to create, so too is there a need for things that are antithetical to it - so too is there a need for something gruesome, or ugly, or strange, or put together in ways that our mind can’t quite understand…” -Chani Nicholas
Paint Your Feelings Workshop
Monday, April 4th 2022
“Can you be aware that as much of the beauty you want to create, so too is there a need for things that are antithetical to it - so too is there a need for something gruesome, or ugly, or strange, or put together in ways that our mind can’t quite understand…” -Chani Nicholas
I have a young daughter named Searsha who will be turning 5 soon. She currently goes to a daycare where she gets to play, make art, make messes, and just be a kid for most of the day. Of course, there are still rules, and manners, and procedures she has to follow, but on most days, she absolutely loves it. Most of the time when I pick her up, she’s in good spirits, still riding the high of whatever game or activity she was doing with her friends, but there are some days when I pick her up that she falls into pieces the moment I get her buckled into her car seat.
On those days where she falls apart, it usually doesn’t take much to get her going. For example, there is a free library right outside of her school that we usually stop to visit at pick up. We take a book from the library and when we get to the car, I read it to her before we head home. Then, we return the book the next morning at drop off for another family to take home. One day she had a mega meltdown in the car because I told her I would read her the book after I buckled her into her seat instead of before.
The dramaaaaa
I’ve heard several other moms share similar experiences - speaking about the meltdown that comes shortly after pickup. This isn’t an uncommon thing for kids. It even has a name - the “After-School Restraint Collapse”.
The idea is that kids are trying so hard at school all day to “be good” or, in other words, to keep their shit together. So, after they have been on their absolute best behavior all day, once they get to a place where they feel safe to do so, they let it all go. It’s like a bubble just waiting to burst.
On the days when Searsha is having a harder time than normal, we make sure she knows all feelings are welcome and we prioritize low-key, soothing activities once we get home.
Just don’t make any loud noises
What I now recognize as both a parent and a human myself, though, is that adults are not very different from kids. Many adults that I know, myself included, come home exhausted by the end of the workday because the truth is that the customer isn’t always right, but having to pretend like they really are because your job depends on it is absolutely exhausting (or maybe you’re just tip-toeing around the delicate ego of your boss, or you really want to correct the coworker who keeps getting your name wrong, or maybe you’re waiting to hear back on the more-than-reasonable raise request that you should’ve gotten ages ago).
The difference, though, between adults and kids is that kids are really good at airing out all of their frustrations - maybe even a little too good sometimes. (Oh, did you want to actually hear the teller in the drive thru line of the bank? The screaming toddler in the backseat said IDGAF.) They don’t hold anything back out of “social obligation”. When kids are mad, sad, scared, or all of the above, they feel it, they express it, and next thing you know, they’re fine! It’s like it never happened.
As adults, I think, we get really bad at this. We get so conditioned to hold ourselves together and put our “best foot forward” in every setting. And don’t even get me started on social media and the role it plays in all of this - but to be clear, it plays a major role. It’s like we learn to hold our shit together in so many different social settings that we forget how and where to let ourselves fall apart, so we, too, become the bubble just waiting to burst. .
Don’t forget to breathe!
But everyone, and I really mean everyone, needs that space where they can let themselves be their whole, honest, messy selves. Everyone needs a space where they can just let shit fall apart, where they can say what they really want to say, where they don’t have to be perfect, where they can just be.
That feels better
That’s exactly what my Paint Your Feelings workshop is meant to be. It is not a workshop for making masterpieces, it is a workshop about learning to be whole, real, messy humans again without judgment or resistance. Remember the “perfect golden child” Isabela singing out her revelation in the movie Encanto? “I’m so sick of pretty, I want something true, don’t you?”
A transformation we love to see
My Paint Your Feelings workshop is an introduction to my own daily painting process. When I set out to create a painting, I never know what the outcome will be or the finished work will look like. In those moments of creating, my only intention in those moments is to show up, be honest and express myself authentically, no matter how “messy” it might look. In other words, I am giving myself permission to fall apart.
The objective in the Paint Your Feelings workshop is to dedicate time and space to allowing yourself to experience your own emotions and validate yourself by witnessing yourself. In the workshop, we get quiet, get curious, write, and paint. Again, the goal isn’t to come out of the class with a masterpiece, but instead to come out more connected to and accepting of yourself and where you are in the moment.
My next Paint Your Feelings workshop is coming up on Monday, April 4th at the Full Bloom Farmhouse in Abingdon, VA and I am so excited to share it with everyone! Join the Collectors Club to get updates about future workshops, including future online workshops!
Season 2 EP 11: Creating Slowly with Brian Serway
Listen Now!
Perfectionist in Recovery
Rest is a Creative Practice
Hello and Welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast!
My name is Marcy Parks and I am a Perfectionist in Recovery and today I am sharing highlights from an amazing conversation that I had with a dear friend of mine and talented creative, Brian Serway, (you can check out his work here) but first - I want to take a second to say thank you!
Thank you so much for being here and joining me for this episode today. Thank you for supporting my work and for supporting the work I do for this podcast! I got some new feedback on the podcast this week and I am so grateful always for those of you that send over your thoughts about the podcast. In case you didn’t know, your feedback makes this podcast even better for you to listen to, so, please, send me all of the feedback! If you have some thoughts that you want to share about the podcast, send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or go to my website at www.MarcyParksArt.com/PerfectionistinRecovery and submit your feedback through the feedback form at the bottom of the page. I am always looking to improve this podcast to meet your creative needs, so let me know what you think!
That being said, I want to hear from you! Do you have questions about things you have heard on the podcast? Do you want to hear a discussion about a specific topic? Let me know! Again, you can send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or you can go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and submit your questions through the feedback form there at the bottom of the page. Again, go to www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and send me your thoughts! Let me know what you want to hear.
Now let’s get into it!
Transcripts Coming Soon
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 10: How to De-stress with Art Journaling
Listen Now!
Perfectionist in Recovery
How to De-stress with Art Journaling
Hello and Welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast!
Hello and welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast! My name is Marcy Parks and I am a perfectionist in recovery and today I wanted to talk to you about how you can use art journaling as a way of de-stressing during this very stressful time. If you are a human on this planet, you know the past year and a half, going on two years now, has not been easy at all. Throughout this entire experience, so many emotions have been coming up like anxiety, fear, anger, and lots and lots of grief, so I wanted to share the practices that I have been leaning into in the past few months to help myself navigate through all the changes as well as all of those big emotions as they come up in hopes that they can do the same for you. Let’s go.
First things first, I wanted to take a second to say thank you!
Thank you for joining me here, for sharing your time while listening to this podcast, and for supporting my work! I am so grateful to those of you who have reached out to share your feedback with me - as I have said before and as those of you who have been long time listeners know, your feedback makes this podcast more enjoyable for you to listen to! So if you have thoughts you want to share, questions you want answered, or topics you want to hear discussed on the podcast, go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and submit your feedback there! If you love the podcast and want to continue to show your support of this work, like, follow, subscribe, share - all the things - and leave a review! Reviews are the best way to support the growth of this podcast.
Otherwise, for those of you who have already done all of those things, thank you!
Now, let’s get into it!
On this episode today, I wanted to talk a little bit about my art journaling practice, which I have been leaning fully into lately, what it looks like, and how a similar practice as part of a daily, or even weekly, routine can help you to de-stress and find some clarity in the madness that we are living through.
Content warning: I am going to be talking about the pandemic, so if you are done hearing about it, or need a mental break away from it, you may want to skip ahead.
So I have been chatting with some friends about, well, life, and a common theme that I am hearing everyone share is this level of exhaustion that we all seem to be experiencing. Everyone I know, including myself, is hitting a wall. If you’re like me, this probably isn’t even the first time you're hitting that wall in the past year. It might be more like the third or fourth wall you have hit and have worked around. Or maybe you've hit the wall and just stayed there this whole time. Either way, you’re not alone in your experience.
The pandemic is ramping up again and even for the most adaptable, optimistic people I know, this brings a level of stress and anxiety to their day. And I think that can be said about everyone.
But, lately, I have been thinking about and also talking with friends about what the long term effects of living through the pandemic will look like in our brains and bodies. One thing I can definitely say is that my brain just doesn’t work the same. I mean, don’t get me wrong, becoming a mother definitely impacted my memory, but going on two years now of pandemic life and the stress that comes with all of it has definitely changed some things. It seems like every other week I have serious brain fog that makes it hard for me to orient myself in my life.
If you have been watching or following the Olympics, you have heard about gymnast Simone Biles stepping back from competition for her mental health. She later shared on her instagram stories that she has been struggling with the “twisties” which is this sensation gymnasts, and I imagine divers also, experience where their body feels disconnected from their mind and they have a hard time orienting themselves to where they are when they are hurtling through the air.
This is problematic because, for gymnasts, not being able to sense where you are and landing the wrong way could mean paralysis, or worse.
The brain fog I have been feeling feels a lot like this. Although, for Simone, she feels like this when flying through the air at a higher rate of speed. For me, it feels more like I am floating in an ocean that is covered with fog and I don’t really know where I am or what I need to be doing. Actually, I know what I need to do, because my to-do list stays forever long, but I can’t actually get started doing anything. The brain fog I feel just makes me feel… adrift. Almost every other week I will feel this way.
Not to mention, in addition to this brain fog are these interruptions of grief that always surprise me. I didn’t realize how much grief would come with going back to work and navigating all the changes that came with that transition, in addition to grieving all that has been lost and changed in the past year.
I share all of this because I want to assure anyone else out there feeling this way that you are absolutely not alone. You are not crazy, or weird, or anything else. You are a human being living through a truly wild experience.
I also wanted to share this because I have found that my art journaling practice is what is really helping me to get my feet back on solid ground. I’ve had to let a few things shift to the back burner for a little while, like this podcast and keeping up on social media, in order to prioritize my art practice, so if you have missed me sharing here as regularly or on IG, that is why!
But I want to share the steps of my art journaling practice so that you can try this out at home for yourself to get reoriented to your space anytime you feel out of sorts. You can do this daily or weekly as needed.
To de-stress with an art journaling practice, set aside some time on a day to do the following for yourself:
Get into your body:
Brain fog leaves me feeling disconnected from myself. There were definitely days where I could not get it together and would just veg out watching netflix, or some other avoidant behavior, but that only delayed me finding a point of clarity. What started to turn things around for me was getting reconnected to my physical body. There are so many ways you can do this, but here are a few things I did:
Walk - get outside for daily walks!
Breathe - taking a few minutes to breathe deliberately or listen to one of the meditations on this podcast
Get a Massage - if you are vaccinated and have the available funds to book yourself a massage, I can’t encourage this enough.
Write it down:
Journaling. I don’t even have to say it, but I am. Y’all already know. Journaling, journaling, journaling. Take some time either on your computer or with your journal and just write things down. Make lists, write down your feelings, write whatever is on your mind even if there is not much there, just write it down!
Paint it out:
You don’t have to paint, you can also color. If markers and crayons are all you have handy, use those. Only have pens and pencils lying around? No problem, they are perfect, too. Use whatever is on hand and easy for you to set up (because if it is not easy to use, you won't do it!). Either in your journal on top of what you wrote (unless it is important lists you need to remember), or on another surface, get out your supplies and paint or color or scribble whatever it is you wrote about. If you made lists, maybe paint or draw the items on your list - don’t worry if you can’t draw. This is not a graded activity, it is not about making a masterpiece for people to see, this is about getting stress out of your body. If you wrote about your feelings, paint, color, or scribble what those feelings look like to you. Maybe it is just a big scribbly mess, or maybe it is just a solid black page, whatever it looks like is exactly what it is supposed to look like. Again, this is not about making something to be seen, it is about getting what is inside of you on the outside.
These are the steps I have been deliberately taking a few times a week to help keep myself grounded through all the changes and disruptions this year has brought. I hope that this practice helps you to get back into your body and find some relief as well.
And if you would like a journaling prompt to get you started journaling:
Journal Prompt:
How are you feeling?
Take some time to write about how you are feeling, maybe 15 minutes or so, then take a second to close your eyes and feel those feelings in your body, and then write about what those feelings feel like in your body.
Otherwise, that’s all I have for you today! Until next time, friends!
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 9: Two Kid-Friendly Meditations to Try at Home
Listen Now!
Perfectionist in Recovery
Two Kid-Friendly Meditations to Try at Home
Hello and Welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast!
Hello and welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast! My name is Marcy Parks and I am a perfectionist in recovery.
On today’s episode I wanted to share two kid-friendly meditations to practice with your little ones (that are also fun for adults to do, too), but first - I want to take a second and thank you so much for being here and for supporting this podcast! I love producing this podcast and it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without other people to share it with, so thank you for being here. If you are enjoying this podcast and would like to show your support for my work, then please, leave a review for the podcast! Reviews are the best way to support the growth and success of the podcast. You can go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and find links to leave a review at the bottom of the page. In fact, it is in that same place where you can also send me your feedback about the podcast! As I have said before, your feedback makes this podcast more enjoyable for you to listen to, so please, let me know what you think! Let me know if there are specific questions you have, episodes that have helped you, or if you have any questions you want answered! So go to www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery to leave a review and send me your feedback.
Now for our meditation today, I have two different meditations to practice that are kid-friendly (and pretty fun for adults, too) that I wanted to share with you!
So one of the two meditations I am sharing with you today is from the kid’s book Breathe Like a Bear, and the other is from the kid-friendly meditation app, Stop, Breathe, and Think Kids, I recently shared in My Top Three Favorite Meditation Apps blog post that you can find on my website. And just in case you were wondering, no, this is not a sponsored post! These are truly just books and meditation apps that I love and enjoy and have found to be really helpful and I wanted to share them for anyone with littles that are interested in teaching their children about mindfulness and giving them tools to help regulate their emotions.
I have shared a meditation from the Breathe Like a Bear book before that Searsha and I do on occasion and we both enjoy it.
The first is the Hot Chocolate Breath from the Breathe Like a Bear book. To practice this meditation, pretend that you have a steaming hot cup of hot chocolate and you have to cool it off before actually drinking it. For a few rounds, you and your little one can practice taking deep breaths in and then blowing on your cup of hot chocolate to cool it off, just like you would do in real life. Then, after 3 or 4 rounds of taking deep breaths and blowing on your hot chocolate, you can then start to pretend to drink the hot chocolate. So at this point, you would bring your invisible cup to your lips and take a deep, long sip of your hot chocolate as your inhale, then on your exhale say “MMMMMMMM…” For the next 3 to 4 breaths, you can then sip your hot chocolate and say “MMMMMM…” as you breathe out.
This was the first breathing practice Searsha and I really tried together. Every now and then I will ask her if she wants to do some hot chocolate breathing with me. There are times when she says no, that she doesn’t want to do it, or isn’t in the mood to do it, so I don’t push her, but it is something that I do try to incorporate into our routine so that it is a familiar practice to her.
The second breathing exercise is from the Stop, Breathe, and Think Kids app that I shared in my blog post about My Top Three Favorite Meditations apps. This breathing exercise and meditation is Smell the Roses, Blow out the Candle.
For this practice, you and your little one will each hold up your index finger in front of your face pretending that they are roses. You can even have a little fun talking about what color the roses are, being mindful of the thorns on the rose, and what they might smell like. Then, holding your index fingers to your nose, you will take a deep breath in pretending to smell the rose. You can do a few rounds of breathing just pretending to smell the rose to start. After a few rounds of getting used to taking deep breaths in to smell the rose, you will pretend that your index finger is then a candle. Once again, you can have some fun visualizing the candle, talking about the color of the candle and even the flame of the candle. Then, you will practice taking a deep breath in and holding your index finger to your mouth to blow out the candle. Take some time to practice blowing out the candle, first with the intention of blowing out forcefully to blow the flame of the candle out, like you would with candles on a birthday cake, but then, after a few forceful, flame extinguishing breaths, practice blowing out slowly so as not to disturb the flame of the candle.
Once you have practiced blowing out slowly with control in order to not blow out the candle, start to combine the two practices together. Holding your finger up to your nose, take a deep breath in to smell the rose, then holding your finger to your mouth, slowly breathe out to blow the flame of the candle without blowing it out.
Then, on the last round, you can finish up by blowing out the candle!
So those are two kid-friendly meditation activities you can introduce to your little ones to start getting them acquainted with mindfulness and meditation. It might be a fun bedtime activity to introduce into your bedtime routines, or even something to try out after a meltdown or a stressful event to help your little one process the emotions afterwards. However you decide to practice it, let me know! Let me know what your little one thinks and if they enjoy the practice.
Otherwise, I hope these practices serve you well. Thank you for being here!
Until next time, friends!
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 8: Rest is a Creative Practice
Listen Now!
Perfectionist in Recovery
Rest is a Creative Practice
Hello and Welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast!
My name is Marcy Parks and I am a Perfectionist in Recovery and today I am sharing highlights from an amazing conversation that I had with a dear friend of mine and talented creative, Jocelyn Mathewes, but first - I want to take a second to say thank you!
Thank you so much for being here and joining me for this episode today. Thank you for supporting my work and for supporting the work I do for this podcast! I got some new feedback on the podcast this week and I am so grateful always for those of you that send over your thoughts about the podcast. In case you didn’t know, your feedback makes this podcast even better for you to listen to, so, please, send me all of the feedback! If you have some thoughts that you want to share about the podcast, send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or go to my website at www.MarcyParksArt.com/PerfectionistinRecovery and submit your feedback through the feedback form at the bottom of the page. I am always looking to improve this podcast to meet your creative needs, so let me know what you think!
That being said, I want to hear from you! Do you have questions about things you have heard on the podcast? Do you want to hear a discussion about a specific topic? Let me know! Again, you can send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or you can go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and submit your questions through the feedback form there at the bottom of the page. Again, go to www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and send me your thoughts! Let me know what you want to hear.
Now let’s get into it!
Transcripts Coming Soon
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!
Season 2 EP 7: 5 Steps to Overcome Fear and Get Started
Listen Now!
Perfectionist in Recovery
5 Steps to Overcome Fear and Get Started
Hello and Welcome back to the Perfectionist in Recovery Podcast!
My name is Marcy Parks and I am a Perfectionist in Recovery and today I wanted to talk about overcoming fear in order to get started, but first - I want to take a second to say thank you!
Thank you so much for being here and joining me for this episode today. Thank you for supporting my work and for supporting the work I do for this podcast! I got some new feedback on the podcast this week and I am so grateful always for those of you that send over your thoughts about the podcast. In case you didn’t know, your feedback makes this podcast even better for you to listen to, so, please, send me all of the feedback! If you have some thoughts that you want to share about the podcast, send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or go to my website at www.MarcyParksArt.com/PerfectionistinRecovery and submit your feedback through the feedback form at the bottom of the page. I am always looking to improve this podcast to meet your creative needs, so let me know what you think!
That being said, I want to hear from you! Do you have questions about things you have heard on the podcast? Do you want to hear a discussion about a specific topic? Let me know! Again, you can send me a message on instagram at @MarcyParksArt or you can go to my website at www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and submit your questions through the feedback form there at the bottom of the page. Again, go to www.marcyparksart.com/perfectionistinrecovery and send me your thoughts! Let me know what you want to hear.
Now let’s get into it!
Today I want to talk about fear and 5 steps to take to move through it in order to get started.
So, once upon a time when I was in my late teens and early twenties in college, I went through a period where I did not make any art at all.
If you are a long time listener of the podcast, you've probably already heard this story, but for those of you that are new here, I will share it again. When I was in high school, I was very artistic, loved art, loved making art. The art I made back then, though, is much different from what I currently make. Back then, my work was much more focused on realism and capturing scenes and people and objects with detailed accuracy. Abstract art was foreign to me and made little-to-no sense.
Anyway, I wanted to pursue art in college, but couldn't afford to go, so instead I went to college where I had a swimming and academic scholarship.
For the time I was in college, I did not make art at all. There just wasn't time for it. My creative impulses were still being met because I was studying English and I love reading and writing, but as far as the art that I knew and loved making before, that was gone. People that knew me would ask me about my art all the time, but being a full time college athlete was a really good excuse for not having any time to paint.
Until one day. It was during the summer when I had no other obligations, other than work. For whatever reason, maybe because I was super into Romanticism and literature of the 19th century, I wanted to recreate this portrait of a princess by a French painter. If you want to know what painting I am talking about, look up the artist Ingres and his painting of the Princess de Broglie. What drew me to this painting was how luminescent the material of the princess's gown was and the satin on the chair. I became obsessed with the way he captured the material of her clothes, silk? Organza? I have no idea, but it is absolutely gorgeous.
And my intention with the painting was not to recreate the whole portrait. I really wanted to focus my painting on the section where her hand is sort of draped over the back of the chair and really zooming in on the the lace of here sleeves, the fabric of her dress and the fabric of the chair because I was so obsessed with how delicate her clothes looked and the way they seemed to glow and I wanted to be able to do that.
But the real reason I was only focusing on this area of the painting was because I was already so intimidated to even try recreating it. Fear was present the moment I saw the original portrait. I immediately started comparing myself and my abilities to the abilities of this WORLD RENOWNED ARTIST whose work has lasted CENTURIES. Could I replicate what he did? Would I be able to achieve my goal? Was I good enough? What if my painting sucks? What if my painting sucks and people SEE IT?
But at that point I wasn’t aware of what those thoughts were really indicating. I wasn’t conscious of the root of those thoughts, or what their impact on my creativity really was, or how they were impacting me in any other part of my life really.
Now, at that time in my life, those thoughts alone would have probably been enough to deter me from pressing forward, but it had been so long since I had painted and I truly was so ready to do it again, I persisted. I persisted, but still with a hesitation.
My priority was to recreate that luminescent quality the painting had, and I wanted to get it just right, right? So I watched some youtube videos, which is how I learned about the technique of underpainting, and learned about the concept of “value” in paintings. Then, I went out and bought supplies. I started the sketch of the outline on the canvas. I even went so far as starting the underpainting and mapping out the values (the light and dark areas) of the painting.
Then I realized that the values were a little too dark. I went back to correct them, and they were still too dark. It started to get hard, and I was getting frustrated.
And then I quit!
That painting sat unfinished, black and white and gray, for MONTHS. I left it out for a while thinking I would come back to it and finish it later, but it just kept going on, unfinished, and the longer I went without trying again the harder it got to try again. And then one day, a little over a year later, I just threw it away.
What I didn’t realize at the time, but have come to understand now, is that fear drives a lot of perfectionism and my fear of not being perfect at something was a big reason I never finished that painting - and also a big reason I would go on to not paint again for even longer.
And the fears can be many - fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection, fear of getting something wrong, etc. - but when it comes to perfectionism, there is an avoidance that can happen as we try to avoid confronting that fear. We avoid putting ourselves in the position of being new at something, we avoid approaching that person, we avoid finishing the painting.
It has taken me a long time to learn how to move through that fear and to allow myself to be new at something, to be bad at something, to get things wrong. Honestly, I wouldn’t even say I am good at moving through that fear now! Ha! I still struggle with it so much - in fact, I started a new painting this week. I haven’t painted in months, but this week I finally started one and before I got started I had all those same thoughts again. What if it sucks? What if I suck? What if someone sees that I suck?!
And not only did I start a new painting this week, I also have been Live Streaming the process on my instagram - another new thing that also makes me super uncomfortable because if the painting sucks, people will DEFINITELY see it sucks then! Lol
But at this point in my life, I am so familiar with those questions and those voices and that fear that I have steps that I take to help myself move beyond the fear and not only get started, but to actually finish what I start, also.
So today, I want to share those steps with you!
Acknowledge Your Fear
Fear is totally normal! It is completely normal to feel afraid when trying new things, OR even doing things that you are familiar with! Fear is not a bad emotion, it is just your body’s way of telling you that what you are doing is brave.
2. Give Yourself a Pep Talk
Reframe the experience in your mind and recognize that starting anything new is a learning opportunity filled with possibility! Remind yourself that failure is just feedback and does not define you. Give yourself permission to be a beginner, even when you are a seasoned pro.
3. Set Boundaries
This is a big one! Set boundaries around your action or activity. Leading up to starting my new painting this week, I was feeling a little overwhelmed by just how monumental the task seemed - getting to a finished painting, so I set some boundaries around my time that made it feel manageable. On these three days, for one hour each day, I will work on my painting. That’s it. Depending on what you are working on or wanting to start, this can all look very different, but it might mean setting boundaries around how many days a week you will work, how much time you are going to spend, who you are going to share information with.
4. Start Small
Starting small might look like telling someone you trust what you are thinking about doing or trying. It could also look like going out and buying new supplies, signing up for the class, or sending the email you have been putting off. This week before starting a new painting, my small steps were mixing up colors for fun. I found so much inspiration in just mixing colors that by the end I wasn’t even scared anymore and I was ready to get started painting! Depending on what it is that you are afraid of doing this step will vary, but just think about what is the smallest step forward you can take towards getting started and do that. It is easy to build up momentum once you take those baby steps.
5. Do it Scared
I feel like this is such a cliche at this point, but it is so true. Bravery isn’t about never being scared, it is about doing things even when you are scared. I have already said previously, but I will say it again, I still get scared with every painting. It never goes away! Maybe it will one day when I am 60 or 70 and I have reached peak DGAF mode, but right now, I am still full of fear, but I do it anyway.
And what I hope you find is that once you get started and find a rhythm to your work, the voice of fear gets so much quieter and harder to hear.
Journaling Prompt:
What is something you have always wanted to do, but have never done?
Why have you never started?
What are some boundaries you can set and small steps you can take to get started?
For anyone listening today, I hope you don’t stay stuck in fear! Take the leap, and do the thing. Done is better than perfect.
Until next time, friends!
Ready to take the first step in your creative recovery?
If you enjoyed the episode, LEAVE A REVIEW!
My dream is to help more people connect with their creative identities and embrace themselves as a whole, messy human, and as it turns out, leaving a review on iTunes helps me to do just that!
So thank you in advance for leaving your review and helping me to connect more people with their inner artists!